Balmorhea – River Arms
Bonnie “Prince” Billy – Master and Everyone
My mother and sister have restless leg syndrome. It’s where the legs are locked in a feeling of discontent; they never quite seem to get comfortable. The feeling strikes especially at night, rendering the owner of the restless legs likewise restless and therefore sleepless. I think I have restless foot syndrome. Only one foot—the right one. I can never seem to make it happy. I’ve never owned a pair of shoes that it’s liked. The left foot is fine, content, wondering what’s wrong with its counterpart. The restless feeling strikes especially when driving, making a 2000-mile road trip aggravating at times.
I think maybe too I have restless soul syndrome. Sounds dumb I know, but like my foot, it’s constantly squirming around, seeking for some bit of refuge and rest, but finding only more discomfort instead. I feel out of place in every situation. In the company of sinners, I feel prudishly pious: in the company of saints, vagrant and vile. Among the socially adept, I feel timidly wallflowerish: among the taciturn, bawdy and annoying. I feel inept around intellectuals, brainy around imbeciles. Jockish when with the artistic, fruity when with the athletic. Perhaps in my attempt to be well-rounded in order to fit in anywhere, I’ve made it so that I fit in nowhere. A friend assured me that everyone feels this way, but I don’t know if I believe him.
"Why can't I be loved as what I am?A wolf among wolves,
And not as a man among men"
"Wolf Among Wolves" - Bonnie 'Prince' Billy
2 comments:
you're an awesome writer aaron, and i absolutely love reading your blog!!
and i agree with your friend, eveyone feels that way!!
matt
I feel awesome in most situations..
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